BEFORE CONTENT EDIT: Version 1
Was it she or the cool ocean that seduced me that day? A hot, not so typical day on the damp shore of the pacific where we broke fresh crab with our fingers, drank Sonoma wine from the bottle, and tore bread with our hands. The ocean rushes to the shore and the urge to dance on the water’s edge overpowers me. I feel happy. This is the kind of love I have longed for–rhythmic and hungry. My love comes to my side, takes me in his arms, and dances with me.
AFTER CONTENT EDIT: Completed
We eat fresh crab on the coast in Bodega with just-baked sourdough we tear with our hands. The ocean sings on some days and cries on others. Today the song is lush—the water rushes to the shore like a starving lover and returns to the sea content. This is how I want love: rhythmic like the siren sea. Hungry, like a bank of fog in search of the sun. Vibrant, like the grass on the hillsides that brought us here. We devour the crab that’s soft as velvet and follow with champagne from a winery down the road. I feel giddy. Happy. I move like a dancer in front of the sea. My lover hurries to my side and lifts me like a ballerina on the edge of the sky.
FREE 10-PAGE SAMPLE EDIT OF YOUR MANUSCRIPT
- Correcting errors in spelling, grammar, and punctuation.
- Correcting incorrect word usage (such as affect for effect).
- Changing passive voice to active voice.
- Eliminating wordiness and cliche’.
- Suggesting deletions and revisions, noting them at the sentence and paragraph level.
- Consistency in spelling, hyphenation, and creating variations to tone and tempo in sentence and/or paragraph structure.
- Style and Syntax.
- Rewriting and restructuring the text.
- Moving entire paragraphs and sentences to improve flow.
- Character Development.
- Character and Story Arcs.
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